Frozen heads and the Naked Man

Should be an interesting blog this week :)
But first for something completely different. This!…

It’s another one of those ‘so random I wish I’d come up with it’ memes that show up every now on the interweb. This one involves taking a picture of your head in a freezer, and then uploading it and tagging it with the cryptic tag ‘241543903‘. The idea is that when someone does an image search for this very unassuming number, all the photos of people with their heads in a freezer show up in the results. It’s such a strange concept that I couldn’t help joining in the fun. And of course, this means my friend over at Heart Explodes – who introduced this random idea to me – has to join in as well :)

But now let’s get to the meat of the blog. I’ve spent the last week musing on what I would call flirty friendships. Relationships with a girl where we enjoy each others company, spend a lot of time together, there’s an obvious mutual attraction but it doesn’t quite seem like enough to move it to the next level. So these friendships/relationships end up in limbo, forever stuck somewhere between platonicity and consenting adult action.

Although the more I think about it, the more I realise these relationships aren’t stuck at all. Last week I wrote about the ever-changing nature of the dancing connection, and all of our relationships dance to the same drum. A flirty friendship could never stay in limbo for 10 years. Or 5 years. Even for 1 year. Even when it seems like a relationship is completely stuck, Black Swan randomness forces a change that happens both quickly and completely unexpectedly. Maybe you meet someone else and the friend becomes crazy stalker girl. Maybe she meets someone else and suddenly you’re not in the picture at all. Something will always happen.

And here is the point where I think it’s my job, as the man, to not only embrace that change, but to instigate it. And for some reason the only example that comes to mind is the Naked Man from How I Met Your Mother. (For those of you who don’t want to follow the link, a quick recap: The Naked Man technique is where after a not-particularly-successful date, the man creates a reason to go back to the girls place. Once inside, when the girl leaves the room the man takes off all his clothes and is naked when she returns. She gets surprised, she laughs, he laughs and then..2 times out of 3..something just happens. Impressed by the mans honesty and bravado, and maybe a little pity, the girl decides she might as well sleep with him)
Obviously there’s a lot of poetic license in the episode. But I can’t help but think that in certain circumstances, with certain people the Naked Man would not only work, but be the right thing to do. Without exception, this is *not* a technique for when there’s any genuine interest in a girl beyond sexual fulfilment (which I might add is not the worst way to start a relationship).

But it highlights my point – as a man if I think a relationship with a girl is in limbo, I can feel stuck and just put up with it and try and enjoy her company while other – possibly better – girls are passing me by; or I could pull the Naked Man and find out how she feels for sure. It’s risky, if it doesn’t go down well the friendship is essentially over (and I may be kicked onto the street butt-naked). But if the friendship is likely to end over time anyway I’d rather own the game-changing event, so at least I know I tried to move the relationship in the direction I wanted to. A weird example, but it suffices.

So the point of my musings this week is this: Things always change, even if they seem stuck or comfortable. If there’s a direction you want that change to go, it’s better to try to go all-out for that change in the way you want it, than to let the universe make it happen for you.

Naked Man :)

The Connection…

It’s strange for me to notice, but as spend more time Swing Dancing and learn more pointers and tips, my connections with other people that I dance with seem to change all the time. Sometimes, people that I used to really enjoy dancing with now seem limp and unresponsive when I try to lead them. Others that I never used to feel like I was able to lead properly, I now seem to be able to discover some special angle, or setup to turn them into some of my favourite follows.

I’m not sure if it’s because my own skills are changing, or their skills are changing, or I’m changing and they’re changing and we’re all taking away different things from the lessons. But as I notice it I find myself thinking about the very nature of the connection between a man and a woman. I don’t say lead/follow here because I think the connection boils down to the sexuality that’s at the core of each of us. This connection, like the dance itself, seems like it’s always in motion. Always changing between one girl and the next, and then when I come back to the same girl it’s changed again.

That ‘perfect connection’ can only ever be a fleeting thing I suppose. Whenever I think I’ve found it, it doesn’t happen again with that same girl. The perfect connection is always moving on, always changing. And the only way to keep looking for it is to just keep dancing with as many girls as I can, new and known to me. And when I think about it like that, I wouldn’t have it any other way :)

Startup woes

I never would have described myself as a ‘busy guy’, but since signing up to the Game Design Concepts course online I’ve been finding myself pressed for time to get any of the work done. Now while catching up over the weekend is a tried-and-true method I used many-a-time during my degree at university, we all know that we never get as much done as we planned to. It’s the weekend after-all: easy to make that excuse :)

So I started looking over my time to see where all of it was going. 7 hours a day, 35 hrs a week total on work (I take an hour lunch-break doing anything but work, so I’m not counting that as ‘work time’). 4 hrs a week Swing dancing classes, plus or minus an hour of social dancing at the end of classes. 2hrs a week of Yoga. 8-9 hrs a week on public transport! What? I spend more time on trains and buses than I do in a day at work?!

Yes folks, it seems that I’ve been letting a whole lotta time go to waste waiting for that train to arrive, that bus to appear (if it ever does), or the next stop to be mine. And the kicker iss – I’m not even doing anything interesting in that time. If I haven’t got a book, or I don’t feel like reading, I find myself just staring blankly out the window. Surely a man with 2 laptops can find a better use of this time, no?

And this leads me to the essence of this blag-post/net-whine: computers take too long to start up! Packing and unoacking my laptop from my bag every time I get on the bus/train, get off, or change between means the once I’m seated I have to wait another 30secs to a minute just to get back in to whatever I was doing again. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it can easily be the difference between trying to fit 5mins of work into that 5min train trip, or (as I have this week) lugging a heavy laptop around with me and not actually turning it on that day AT ALL!

Disabling the hibernate options and/or putting the computer to sleep in these situations seemed like a good idea – but I’m rapidly finding that a sleeping or active computer inside a safety sleeve inside a bag feels pretty warm to the touch once it comes back out again. I’m paranoid that I’ll forget I’ve left it on and pull it out at the end of the day with heat damage all over the screen.

But until scientists hurry up and get memristors out there – it looks like this is the best solution for now. Happy overheating!!